The certainty of “uncertainty”
“Nothing in the world causes so much misery as uncertainty”- Martin Luther King
If there is one thing that’s certain at the moment it is the fact that we are living in extremely uncertain times. In a year when most of us expected to be mostly consumed by the uncertainty of whether Trump will get a second term, or the progress of climate change, we have been blindsided by the father of all uncertainties, a global pandemic. As Covid 19 continues to wreak havoc on the health, livelihoods and social structures across the globe the reality is no one, including revered scientists, know exactly what will come next. Will there be a second, or even third, wave? Will summer in the northern hemisphere hamper reproduction of the virus? Will it mutate? Is opening schools a bad idea? Will businesses survive? When will a vaccine be ready? Will the emotional, social and financial distress of protracted lock-downs have actually caused more problems than it solved?
If all this uncertainty is causing an inordinate amount of anxiety at the moment, you are not alone, and your reaction totally normal. On the whole human’s don’t like uncertainty. Ok, there’s that weird friend who genuinely lovvvvves a good surprise party in his honor, but mostly humans are biologically wired to interpret uncertainty as a threat. The subconscious brains of cavemen, and women, were continuously scanning the prehistoric landscape looking for stimuli that was unfamiliar, unpredictable or uncontrollable. As the human brain has an inbuilt “negativity bias”,
it defaults to negative interpretations (in the name of keeping us safe) till reassured otherwise, these stimuli automatically flip the switch on our primal “flight, fight or freeze” response. This response, commonly experience as anxiety or stress, is actually highly adaptive in times of uncertainty. A “cave-person” entering an unfamiliar cave, uncertain whether it was empty, or occupied by a saber tooth tiger, might have been spurred to take a fire torch, back-up and a weapon for protection for example. Added to this, he probably didn’t enter the cave whistling his favourite tune, but rather felt some anxiety in the form of a rapid heart rate, quicker breathing and more focused attention. The anxiety caused by the uncertainty of what he would find was readying him to either fight or get the heck out of there. With Covid 19, the long term impact on our physical, mental, social and financial health is still unknown. This uncertainty is triggering a primal instinct to fight, flight, or in some cases, freeze. Certainty means safety, whether that safety means not catching the virus, being able to hold on to our jobs or chase away a saber tooth tiger. Our brains (and subsequently our bodies) are seeing this virus as an unknown predator, causing largely unforeseen and uncertain anguish, and are just reactivating as programmed. This would be fine if a slight rise in psychological unease prompted us to simply wash our hands, physical distance and mask-up when we enter a grocery store. Unfortunately, our brain’s negativity bias, in a bid to keep us safe, oversells the level of threat in terms of uncertainty. In times of uncertainty we tend to fall into common thinking traps such as “catatrophising”, “over-estimating” the threat, “jumping-to-conclusions” and mental filtering.
These thinking traps, known is psych-speak as “cognitive biases” (more on these in a future blog), can heighten anxiety and fear and put individuals at risk for anxiety disorders, panic attacks and depression. Mental health problems aside, living in a state of anxiety fueled hypervigilance hampers your ability to think clearly and problem-solve effectively, zaps your energy, disrupts sleep and suppresses your immune system. All things not helpful at this time.
Human’s crave certainty and many of the unsettling behaviours we are seeing around the world at the moment are merely a bid to get some certainty any way we can. Stockpiling toilet paper, watching cable news 24/7, and shaming others who either are, or are not, wearing a face covering, are all means of get back some level of control and ultimately certainly. Even conspiracy theorists who have been busy crafting alternate narratives about the origins and propagation of the virus are, nefarious intentions aside, creating realities that have certainty, if only in their own minds. Touting guns on the steps of capitol buildings demanding lockdowns end, along with the hurtful practice of avoiding Chinese businesses for fear of infection, are still more examples of a grasping for some threads of certainty. Although these behaviours may temporarily give an individual a release from the anxiety generated by uncertainty, none of them are particularly adaptive (I mean there comes a time when your entire garage is full of toilet paper). Other actions, are just down right dangerous, unjustified and xenophobic.
Here are some other ideas...
Get comfortable with the emotion. Research shows that people who can tolerate uncertainty are more resilient. Practice letting the anxiety, and other comfortable feelings, caused by uncertainty wash over you. Pushing back hard against anxiety at this time can actually make it grow stronger. As Carl Jung said, “what we resist, persists”. A study after the 2009 H1N1 pandemic actually found people who were more comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty reported less anxiety (Taha et al., 2013). We can actually build our resilience for anxiety producing uncertainty much like we would build a muscle. Start building your resilience to uncertainty by not continually checking the news, social media or email.
Stay in the present. Focus your attention on the present, not on an imagined negative future. Our brains are great at time-travelling. Left to their own devices they can easily imagine 1 week, 1 month and 3 years from now. Combined with our brains negativity bias this gives our brains license to make up stories of very bleak futures. The fact is NO ONE knows for sure how this will turn out just yet, not even the experts. So just don’t go there. To bring your mind back to the present identify something with each of your 5 senses eg: something you see, hear etc.
Check your “what ifs”. “What if” thinking can drag you into a downward spiral of stress and anxiety. Check your “What Ifs” for accuracy. Are your thoughts telling you the truth or making up stories fuelled by fear. Look for actual evidence that your “what ifs” are true. Making a list of things you know that are actually true and things that are just unsupported “what ifs” can given you more control over your life and ease the grip of pointless “what ifs”.
Control what you can. Even amidst these unsettling times we can still create a sense of certainty by managing the things that are still within our control. Now, this doesn’t mean becoming a “control freak” but simply guiding what you can and accepting the rest. For example, you might feel more certainty by creating a daily routine, making time to exercise, making a regular time to have a virtual coffee with a friend, using spare time to do an on-line professional development course, practicing good hygiene etc.
Acknowledge it then let go. Acknowledge that uncertainties around future health, income living conditions,, social contact etc. are hard. But if you find yourself constantly worrying about what lies ahead allocate yourself 15 mins of “worry time” each day. Save all your problem-focused thinking till this time. Make a list of problems if you have to but outside “worry time” thank your brain for the problem thought but then “let it go”. Be firm with your brain as it will likely try and nag your outside “worry time” office hours. Oh, one last note, don’t make “worry time” the just before bedtime.
Engage in self-care. Don’t let stress and uncertainty undo healthy habits. Bolster your resilience by trying to get enough sleep, eating right, exercising and spending time with friends (virtually or by designing creative socially distanced, outdoor or masked catch-ups). Nurture yourself too with some little treats e.g. a relaxing bath, a massage, a good cup of coffee, a stroll in the park with the dog.
Reflect on past successes. Remember times in the past when you had to deal with uncertainty. How did you cope? What strategies made it better or worse? What personal strengths did you use? Did worrying and rumination actually achieve anything?
Seek support. Many people physically, emotionally and socially isolate themselves during stressful times. Although we are needing to maintain some degree of physical isolation at the moment, the fact remains, emotional and social support is essential to navigating life’s difficulties. So open up to those friend’s you can trust. The funny thing is you will most likely be feeling many of the same things you are and your honesty and bravery to open up will give them the permission to open up too. If there is a close friend who seems to have gone quiet. Give them a call and check in on them.
Find the benefits. This may seem absurd given the untold suffering this virus has caused, but although we all wish this never happened (except perhaps Mother Nature) we can still look for benefits. For example, dealing with uncertainty could make you more adaptable, calmer under pressure, or closer as a couple/family If you’re parents, modelling such things as healthy coping strategies, patience and teamwork could be of enormous benefit to your kids. Benefit -finding doesn’t aim to disregard, placate or belittle problems but rather gently shift one’s focus.
Expect the best. At least for the time being, expect the best! Why wouldn’t you? For the time being you don’t have any evidence that the uncertainty will turn out otherwise. Right? To think otherwise is just your lazy brain making up stories to scare you. If you have to think about the “worse-case scenario” save it for your designated “worry time”, then thrash it out in all it’s detail. How likely is it that this dire situation will eventuate? And, if it did, would you somehow find the energy, resources and support to cope? My guess is, most likely!
Get help. If uncertainties about the future are still wreaking havoc in your life, consider reaching out to Bounce Wellbeing for support. Bounce provides easy, convenient on-line counseling wherever you are. You don’t have to navigate uncertainty alone .
